Relay for Life

Friday night and into Saturday I was participating in Relay for Life for the American Cancer Society.  Yes.  You read that right.  Friday and Saturday, 7pm -10am.  It is a walk for cancer to help raise money and awareness about cancer.  It is also a time to celebrate those who have beat cancer, are currently beating cancer and those who we have lost from cancer.

If you have been a follower of mine for very long,  you probably have read that my wonderfully, exceptional mother past away from Melanoma Cancer in January of this year.  It has been a rough road for those of us she left behind.  And I would venture to say, my life has not gotten better, as some say will happen.  I suppose eventually they will be correct.  But as of right now, they're not.    So you can imagine my delight (insert sarcasm) when Friday came.  I was anything but delighted to be engulfed by cancer and my mother's passing shoved into my face.  BUT I kept telling myself that I am doing this to honor my mom and her love for all.

My cousin decided that she wanted to have a team in the Relay.  She dubbed the team Sheila Love, because that was the epitome of my mom...love.  She loved anyone and everyone, it didn't matter who you were.  So I joined because I thought it probably wouldn't look very good if there was a team  at the Relay honoring my mom and I wasn't on it.  And you know I had as good of a time as one could have.  Remembering my mom, walking, being surrounded by people she loved, walking, raising money for the American Cancer Society, walking, no sleep, and more walking.  At one point I had to go sit in my car to get away from it all.  It was at the very beginning of the event.  They had all of the people who were survivors of cancer take a victory lap.  I wasn't trying to be disrespectful of those who have fought hard and won the battle against this ugly disease.  I just couldn't handle not being able to see my mom take that lap.  It isn't fair.  So I had to have my moment in my car by myself.  Another touching moment during the evening was the luminary lighting.  People could purchase a luminary to decorate with a person's name who has passed on from cancer.  My mom had four bags decorated in her honor.  

They also had bags that spelled out different words at the end of the track.  It started with Hope and ended with Cure.

Over all it was a great event.  It was hard to be there, with my mom's passing still so fresh.  But I want to thank all of you who supported Team Sheila Love, the American Cancer Society, and me with your love, encouraging words, and prayers.  

Mother's Day

I just can't seem to formulate the words that I want to say for this Mother's Day.  I feel the need to be uplifting and encouraging, but it is somewhat hard.  So I will share what I said at my precious mother's memorial service.  
I want to celebrate my mom and so I want you to know the things I will tell my children about their Meemaw;
Their Meemaw...

• loved them more than anything in this world.
• loved Jesus with her whole heart.
• was an incredibly strong woman, but so tender hearted.  If you didn't live with her, you would have never known anything was wrong.
• loved giving gifts.  She made sure everyone in the family had a present at Christmas time.  Even if she knew that you probably weren't going to be able to make it, she had it just in case.
• absolutely loved shopping.  She would shop till she dropped.  She was one of the people out at 4 am to go shopping on Black Friday.
• not only did she make some awesome desserts, but she was an amazing cook.  Everyone loved her Death by Chocolate and some of us got to have her wonderful Pizza Pie.
• loved working and serving at the Attic Window
• was a super woman mom.  She would drive all over to take us to everything.  From sporting events to free things around town.  I remember when I was in marching band in high school and our group took a trip to Myrtle Beach, SC to march in a parade.  I went thinking my parents were at home, but while marching down the street I heard my name being yelled from the sidewalk.  And when I saw who it was, I just about tripped and fell and had a whole band with instruments flying all around me.  
• loved to match our clothes.  For family events we were to wear the same color.  So today that is why we are all wearing red, one last time.
• had an infectious laugh
• was always there for everyone
• was a very good listener
• thought of everyone else before her self
• loved to decorate.  And she made sure everything was just so.  She was over the top on everything.  She convinced my dad they needed a new refrigerator just for my high school graduation.  For all of the food she made.
• made everyone feel special.  She called into T.V. stations when it was our birthday's.  My dad won a diamond one year for his birthday because she entered him into the birthday drawing.
• was the one always behind the camera
• gave me her smile.  Through happy and painful times we always seem to be smiling.

She will always be with my children as long as we share memories of her.  I can only imagine what it will be like, when I walk by her side.

and then we sang (or tried to sing) the song I Can Only Imagine by Mercy Me.

My mom has given me a lot besides just the gift of life.  I can only hope that I can be half of the woman she was.  

I Learned From You

I learned about love from you,
Watching your caring ways.
I learned about joy from you
In fun-filled yesterdays.

From you I learned forgiving
Of faults both big and small.
I learned what I know about living
From you, as you gave life your all.

The example you set is still with me
I'd never want any other.
I'm thankful for all that you taught me,
And I'm blessed to call you "Mother."By Joanna Fuchs 
My mom had metastatic melanoma cancer.  On June 24-25 I will be walking all night in honor of my mom for Relay for Life.  It is a time to remember, celebrate, and fight back against cancer.   All funds that are raised are to help the American Cancer Society.  If you would like to donate to Relay for Life in honor of team Sheila Love, please click here.  I would greatly appreciate it.  
Happy Mother's day to all the mom's out there!
~ Selena 

Randomness

I have had a lot of things running through my head today and I don't really know where to start.  I thought about trying to focus on one thing, but that just isn't happenin'.  I feel like I am the ball in the game of dodge ball.  I am thrown this way and that.  Slamming up against every thought, but not staying there long enough to remember anything or focus on anything for that matter.

My thoughts...

• I am saddened by the news of the earthquake in Japan.  My brother-in-law is there right now.  He wasn't affected at all by the quake.  My sister in-law and he used to live in Sendai.  An area that has found 200-300 bodies alone, according to CNN.  The magnitude of a 8 pointer is unfathomable to me.  I have been through a 5 pointer in Alaska and you could hear it coming.  It was so crazy.  Things shaking all around you and then it stops.  You fix the things that fell or went askew and you go on about your business.  But an 8.9 is life altering, forever.   photo from CNN of the Sendai Airport
• I feel like everyday I find out about another person who is sick.  Whether they are in the hospital for something, they have cancer, they have a family member who is sick... it could go on and on.  I just can't seem to get away from it.  It hurts my heart to think about it.  Because ultimately it reminds me of my mom and what happened to her body.  I want to remember how my mom was before getting really sick.   Not the days in the hospital.  But this is the way life goes I suppose.  Then I remember that I signed up to walk in Relay for Life.  To support cancer research.  So if you think about it and would like to support me, I would greatly appreciate it.  You can go to http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?pg=pfind&fr_id=30135 and type in my name as a participant or 'Sheila Love' for our team name.
• I got my hair cut yesterday.  I like it a lot.  I didn't do anything crazy.  I don't think I am ready for that. Plus I like my hair long...for now.  I just needed to get the nastiness cut off the ends of my hair.  And no, I didn't get a color.  I know BORING.  But that is okay for me.  I had a wonderful time out without the kids.  I absolutely love getting my hair washed and my head massaged when getting my hair done.  Ahhh.  Soothing and relaxing. I also loved the gal who did my hair.  She was fantastic.  We laughed, I almost cried, it was a good time.  Thank you Rhonda at West 86th Hair Design!
• My son is going through (for the lack of a better word) a time.  He's four now and doesn't seem to want to listen so well.  So I am trying to come up with ways to bond with him.  To give him more 'good attention'.  And I am having a time trying to do that and take care of the girls at the same time.
• I am ready for Summer.  Spring is good, but it is still kinda nasty out.  Summer would be great about now.

Okay I think that is enough for today.  Of course, I only scratched the surface of my thoughts.  But you get the point.  I am all over the randomness today!