Searching for Significance: Going forward slowly, but surely

Part 1 

Part 2

Life is like a roller-coaster.  You wait in line for the ride of a lifetime.  You wait.  Sometimes minutes because you got the fast track, or you lucked out and no one was at the ride at that time, or maybe the ride stinks and no one wants to ride it.  But sometimes you wait hours because you think it is worth the wait and obviously other people do to.  Finally you get up to the beginning of the line and you start to get giddy.  The adrenaline is already starting to pump through your body.  The nervous energy you feel is so exciting and scary.  The last car rolls into the station to stop in front of you.  It is your turn.  You get into your seat along with your riding partner.  You get strapped in.  The bars come down and lock.  It is now or never.  The anticipation is almost at it's peak in your body.  The ride operators give the thumbs up.  The cars begin moving, depending on the ride you have chosen, super fast or slow going until the front car meets the colossal ascent to reach the summit of the ride. 

 You know the one.  Click, click, click, click...  Hold on or put our hands up?  Scream or pee your pants?  You start to question if you really should have hopped on this ride.  Too late to decide now, because the screaming commences from the front of the cars.  Adrenaline pumping in your body, along with the car you are in.  Up and down.  Around and around.  Through tunnels of black.  Fast and slow.  The ride engineers really know how to get you.  Your car stops in the station and you climb out of the seat to greet your family or friends to laugh and gab about the ride you just took. The good and the bad. Do you admit the part that you weren't so sure about taking the ride?  All to run to the next one and do it all over again.  For some, this roller-coaster is exciting, for some it is terrifying.  When the day is over we remember the fun or displeasure we had, but now we go back to our hum-bug life.  Or do you?
There are points in our life's, sometimes daily and sometimes yearly, that we have this experience so to speak.  Something happens in our life that is so exciting or so incredibly disappointing.  The anticipation is so great that you can hardly stand it.  Maybe you are waiting for a very important life-altering answer.  Did you get the job? Are you approved for your dream home?  Do you have cancer?  Should you quit that job?  Can you afford the missions trip?  Are you able to have a baby?  Will you ever find Mr./Miss right?  Waiting.  Anticipation.  Struggle.  It is nerve-wracking!  We go from one big adjustment, that huge summit.  To another adjustment, the black tunnel.  And back again. A roller-coaster.

That is how I describe my life.  I have had a lot of ups (the summit).  And I have had my fair share of downs (the black tunnel).  Right now I feel like I am struggling to get out of the tunnel.  I can see the light.  I can see what I should be doing.  What I can or could be doing.  But sometimes I just do not have the 'want to'.  I know exactly what I need to be doing.  I just don't have the 'want to'.  Some days I feel like I am on top of the ride, on the summit of life, and I am doing really well.  Other days I am back in the black tunnel.  Having the joy of giving life to my 3 precious babies was momentous.  Losing my mom to melanoma has been a very large black hole.

BUT.  Thank God there is a BUT.  But God loves me so much that He will help me out of this hole.

He has sent people to surround me with encouraging words from around the world.  I can't physically see most of the people who have touched my life in this time, but I have been able to read their notes, emails, comments, and posts.  I also have an amazingly supportive, sensitive, and patient husband.  I have been reminded about the hope that God gives us and that I can find my value in Him and Him alone.  Is it hard to do that?  Most definitely, yes.  I have to work at it.  It is a daily undertaking that I find hope in Jesus.  "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: the old has gone, the new is here!" ~ 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)  
I am new in Christ. And He freely gives hope, satisfaction, love, significance, and much more.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus..." ~ Philippians 4:6&7 (NIV) 
To try to not be anxious is hard.  But if God can give peace and guard my heart and mind, eww eee that sounds so nice.
 Paul says ~ I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength.  ~ Philippians 4:12&13 (NIV)
To be content with where we are at in our current lives is hard.  It is hard to ride the roller-coaster in anticipation of what is to come next.  Wanting and reaching for that next big thing is easy and fun, but once we get what we want, the excitement wears off pretty quickly.  That significance we thought we could get from "stuff" quickly fades.  So I stand today to make a commitment to find my significance in Jesus.  In what he wants in my life.  Will it be hard.  Yes. Will I have to remind myself daily.  Yes.  Will my lifestyle have to change?  Yes.   My sister reminded me in my last searching post that "You ARE significant because you are a child of the King! No more, no less. You are significant because you have opened your heart to God's leading and have done what he purposed you to do. Your obedience to the Lord is significant and that is really all the Lord asks of us!!"

We all are significant in God's eyes whether you know it or not.  On the roller-coaster of life, I will have ups and downs, but starting now I will be going forward.  Slowly, but surely.

Some places I have found encouragement:
psalm1walk.blogspot.com   - This is my friend Molly.  She is incredibly encouraging
proverbs31.org - My sister randomly sends me devotionals from here that are really powerful.
finding the beauty - I happened upon Cheryl's blog about a month ago.  I love the way she writes and find myself in similar situations as her.

So what are you searching for?  Can you relate?  What has been a new revelation for you?

~ Selena